I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
