so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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