you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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