I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
