I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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