do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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