Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
