Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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