After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
