he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?