it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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