if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
