It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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