i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
