Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
