And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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