Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize