3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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