I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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