conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
