Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
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He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
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I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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