Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
