I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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