I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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