Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
