I can't watch pbs sober anymore
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
