Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
