The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
