I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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