Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
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on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
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Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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