You made me cry and you don't even care
That's intense
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
