Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
this hospital has no fireball
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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