so let's talk penis.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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