Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
