i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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