It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
