yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I need to sanitize my soul.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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