Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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