Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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