it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
