do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
