I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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