Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
whose parrot is this?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED