whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed