your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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