Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?