Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.