I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize