Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
