11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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