I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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