i'm signing you up for texting rehab
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
operation harelip BJ is a go
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
