road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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