Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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