I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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