To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
