Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
