yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
