i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
